Princess Lavender's Diary: The Early Years
by CosmicKitten89
Summary: Princess Daisy's precocious little cousin describes her first day of kindergarten and her enormous crush on an even more precocious Koopaling.
1. First Day

(Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They are all owned by Nintendo except for Princess Lavender, who is owned by my sister.)

September 2, 1985

My name is Princess Lavender of Sarasaland. I am five years old. I like to wear purple and right now I am wearing a purple dress, like I usually do. I have brown hair in a ponytail and I wear big round pink glasses.

My cousin Daisy gave me this diary as a back-to-school present. Today is my first day of kindergarten. I am so excited. I get to go to Mushroom Kingdom Academy, where Daisy also goes. It's for grades K through 12, and it's a magnet school, which Daisy says is a school where kids from all over go to. Daisy is ten years old, and she wears a dress like mine except it's yellow, with a daisy flower motif instead of a lavender flower motif like mine.

The bus is very noisy and has a bunch of funny-looking kids. Some of them are creatures that wear turtle shells, or have mushroom heads. Daisy tells me not to make fun of the other creatures.

I sit next to Daisy on the bus. Usually she sits next to her best friend Peach, but today she wants to sit next to me since it's my first day. I sit next to the window.

When the bus stops in the scary place that Daisy says is called Dark Land, a funny-looking guy with a turtle shell and messy blue hair gets on and sits in the seat across from us. I laugh.

I say, look at that guy! I bet he never brushes his hair or showers! Hahaha!

Daisy tells me again how rude it is to make fun of other kids. I say sorry.

I look at the kid again. He looks angry and mean. He looked angry and mean before I made fun of him. I wonder what he's so upset about?

We are on the bus for a long time. The bus goes all over the place. Finally, the bus stops at the Mushroom Kingdom Academy. Daisy takes me to my classroom.

She says, "Have fun, Lavvie! See you on the bus this afternoon!"

My teacher is a funny-looking lady with a turtle shell and glasses who sits in a happy-face cloud. She says that her name is Mrs. Lakitu. She makes each of us sit on a desk and gives each of us a piece of paper to color on.

It's a picture of a clown. I scribble some orange on his hair. I look at everybody else's artwork to see what it looks like.

The messy blue-haired turtle kid from the bus is coloring his clown very neatly. He doesn't scribble like everybody else. He's a fast colorer, but he colors inside the lines. I try to color as well as he does. I'm a better colorer than the other kids, but still not as good as him. When he's done, he takes the black crayon and scribbles on the clown's mouth. He giggles and calls it plaque. His giggling is really funny and cute and scary at the same time.

I laugh and I copy him. When Teacher collects our colorings, she complains about me scribbling on the clown's mouth. She says that I was supposed to give him a nice smile, like it says on the coloring page.

I'm a good reader, but I sometimes forget to read directions, and I don't often like to follow directions anyway. I tell Teacher that I was just copying the other guy. She says that that's being a copycat and that I shouldn't be a copycat.

Some of the other kids tease me and call me copycat. I feel ashamed.

The teacher then has us sit in a circle. I get to sit next to the giggly blue hair guy.

The teacher reads us a story about a train that had trouble making it over the hill.

The blue hair kid raises his hand and says that no matter how much the train thinks that he can, there is no way he can overcome the law of conservation of energy. He sounds really smart the way he says it.

The teacher says, thank you, Ludwig, and answers some other kid's question.

Later on, it's time for recess. I hate recess. I'm no good at hanging on to monkey bars, I hate waiting my turn to get on the swing, and whenever I go down the slide the boys make fun of me for my skirt flying up and showing my panties. Also, it's way too hot. I wander around for a while, then I sit down under a tree so I can have some shade. It's not comfortable to sit on the roots, but there's nowhere comfortable to sit that's not in the sun. I find that Ludwig, the smart blue haired kid, is sitting there also.

I tell him that I hate recess. He tells me that he does too, and that they never made him go out into a playground at Frankenstein University.

Wow. I say, but you're too young to go to college! He tells me that he has the framed degree paper at home to prove it.

I ask him why he's in kindergarten if he graduated from college. He tells me that his father is making him go to kindergarten so he can develop his social skills. I tell him that my mom wants me to develop my social skills too, which is why I'm going to school here instead of being tutored at home like a lot of princesses.

He tells me that he is a royal also. He is Prince Ludwig Von Koopa of Dark Land, and his father is King Bowser Koopa. He pulls a book out of his shell and starts to read it.

I ask, can I read it too? He tells me, no, you wouldn't understand it.

I hate it when people tell me that. Daisy tells me that all the time. I understand more than she thinks I do!

I read out loud some of the words in the book. I can read fast, and I don't have trouble with the big words.

Ludwig is surprised that I can read. I tell him that I can write too, and that I'm writing in a diary. He tells me that most kids in kindergarten can't read, or if they can, then not as well as I can.

Then we finally get to go inside. Teacher has us line up and makes us go to the cafeteria, which is a place where they serve yucky food to the kids. My mommy gave me a lunch box so that I wouldn't have to eat the yucky food, but then I realize that I've forgotten it!

I cry, but Ludwig sits next to me and shares some of his treats with me. He has packed a Koopa Cola, a bag of cheese puffs, a Milka candy bar, and a bag full of chocolate-covered cockroaches. He gives me some of the cheese puffs and asks if I would like to try one of the cockroaches. I try it and it's actually quite yummy and crunchy. It tastes like pork rinds or popcorn. He then shares a piece of his Milka bar with me. He says it was made in Austria and that he comes from Austria.

I say, cool, you mean you were born in the real world?

He is surprised that I know what Austria is and tells me that the real world is no less real than the world we live in, they just call it the real world because most of the people there think that our world is fake. He says that the place where he used to live in Austria is one of the few places where they accept Koopas and other strange creatures from our world. He tells me that I owe him some of my treats when I bring my lunch box tomorrow.

After lunch we have free time in the classroom. Ludwig is making a contraption out of building blocks and Legos and K'Nex. I make a contraption too but instead of copying him I make my own. I show it off to him and he actually likes it. He makes fun of a lot of the buildings that the other kids make, and he knocks one of them down.

The mushroom head kid cries, and I tell him that what he did was not very nice. He tells me that the block tower was unstable and bound to fall anyway. He hears a kid playing with a keyboard and gets excited and takes the keyboard away. I tell him that it wasn't very nice to take the keyboard instead of waiting his turn but he tells me that he's doing everyone a favor by taking control of the instrument.

He starts playing a Beethoven song on it and it's beautiful. He then plays a song I don't recognize. He tells me that he wrote the song himself. I say I'm impressed. He's only five and he can already write his own beautiful songs! Like Mozart! I tell him that I take piano lessons but when I tried to write my own song it sounded like a stupid random key playing kid song.

When I ride the bus home I am afraid to talk about Ludwig with Daisy. Ludwig is so mean, but I like him anyway, and he's nice to me, and he's really smart.

I think that I have a crush on him! But I shouldn't tell the other kids or they'll be singing,

Lavender and Ludwig sitting in a tree,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love, then comes marriage,

Then comes babies in a baby carriage!


	2. Ludwig Likes Me

Disclaimer: Refer to last chapter.

Tuesday, September 3rd, 1985

I am very excited to go to school this morning. I make sure to bring my purple outer space lunch box this time so I won't go hungry and so I can return Ludwig's favor from yesterday.

Cousin Daisy is on the bus when I get on, and she wants me to sit next to her. I ask if I can sit somewhere else. She says, looks like little Lavvie's got a boyfriend! I get all hot-feeling and she asks me who the lucky boy is. I say that I just want to sit with friends, that's all.

Ludwig is sitting in the back where Daisy can't see. I sit next to him and play with his hair. His hair smells like McDonald's and candy. Yummy. I suck on it and he gets irritated and pulls it back.

When we get to class, Teacher is having us learn numbers. Daisy is always complaining about how hard math is, but it doesn't seem so hard to me. I already know how to count to one hundred, and I tell her that it's boring to count over one hundred because numbers are repetitive. Ludwig raises his hand and counts by saying some number-point some other number times ten to the power of some other number. He says that one hundred is ten to the power of two, one thousand is ten to the power of three, and one million is ten to the power of six.

I am amazed. But the teacher tells him to be quiet and has the other kids who don't know their numbers count. Ludwig complains that he already knows how to do calculus, whatever that is.

During recess, Ludwig takes some sidewalk chalk and, instead of drawing hopscotch squares, draws some funny looking symbols. He draws x's and y's and some funny-looking mark that looks like the s on a violin. I stare at him and I am amazed, but he looks like he's annoyed at me.

I ask, can you teach me how to do math with the alphabet? He says no. I ask him, why won't you teach me? He says, it's not that I won't it's that I can't. There's a difference.

He sits back under the tree to read his book. He is almost finished with it. I ask if I can borrow it when he's done. He says that it wouldn't understand it.

I get frustrated. I tell him that I'm sick of my cousin Daisy always telling me that I can't understand stuff. He snaps at me, saying, I am not your cousin Daisy. I am a university graduate and I've yet to learn all that is in this book, so it would certainly be too difficult four your cousin Daisy to understand, let alone you.

I begin to cry. He then says, however, I do have some books that are at your level and would probably, in time, take you beyond that level.

He opens his backpack and takes out some books on science and numbers that are at a sixth-grade level. I say thank you and kiss him on the cheek.

During lunch I offer him some of my carrot sticks with peanut butter, my apple juice box, my grapes, and my peanut butter sandwich crackers. He turns up his nose and says that it's hardly a good tradeoff for what he gave me yesterday. I tell him that my mom wants to make sure that I eat healthy. He says that growing children need more calories than this.

He accepts the crackers and the peanut butter but not the carrots. I can't eat the carrots now because the taste really yucky without the peanut butter. He asks what's for dessert. Let me guess – applesauce?

I tell him that I had to put the applesauce in the refrigerator because it got warm when I left my lunchbox out at home all day so I took a candy bar for dessert.

He turns up his nose at the Hershey's label. He says that I can keep it, they're not nearly as good as Milka. I agree. Milka is really yummy and special tasting. But I eat the Hershey's anyway.

Later on Ludwig is making kids cry by beating them at checkers and throwing a fit when they break the rules. I ask if I can play with him and he beats me but he says that I played a much better game than the other kids. He asks me if I want to learn how to play chess and I say yes.

He gets frustrated trying to teach me and tells me that I should probably stick to tic tac toe. I get mad and insist on playing. He says that you only need to kill the king, you don't need to kill all of the other pieces. He goes easy on me so that I can beat him.

At the end of the day he tells me good luck with the books he gave me. He says that I can keep them.

I think that maybe Ludwig likes me too!


	3. Playdate

**Note: This story is NOT about Daisy. It is about my sister's OC, Princess Lavender, who is Daisy's cousin.**

**I would also like to point out that Lavender is NOT a Mary Sue. She is a young genius who has sweet personality but a crazy and obsessive crush on Ludwig.**

September 6, 1985

I forgot to write in my diary for a couple of days. I was too busy reading the books that Ludwig gave me. They are very interesting, and I was so busy reading them that the teacher got mad at me and told me to put them away! She did the same thing to Ludwig a lot too.

Today is Friday, and I am all done with my books. I ask Ludwig if I can have some more. He tells me that his castle where he lives is loaded with books to spare.

I say, wow, you live in a castle too? That means you are royalty like I am!

He says yes, I am a prince, and when I grow up I will be King of Dark Land.

I ask if I can go on a play date at his castle. Hey says no and I ask why.

He says that my parents don't like his dad and that they would get mad if I went to visit.

I tell him that maybe I could go visit secretly. I go to the telephone and I call my parents' number and tell them that I am having a slumber party at Daisy's. They approve and tell me to have fun.

Ludwig tells me that he is impressed with my sneakiness. I hug him and he actually tolerates it.

I sit next to Ludwig on the bus home. Daisy doesn't know that I'm supposed to be having a slumber party at her castle.

When we get to Dark Land, Ludwig whispers into my ear something he wants me to shout to distract Daisy so that she doesn't notice me getting off the bus at Dark Land.

I shout, look, there's King Bowser!

Daisy turns around asking where and I run off the bus with Ludwig, laughing.

His castle looks big and dark and scary. There are little turtle guards everywhere. They ask Ludwig who I am and he does his cute crazy giggle and says that I'm his prisoner. They then open the door to let us in.

The castle looks even scarier on the inside. There scary dragon statues of Ludwig's dad and pools of lava with fire puffs jumping out of them. Ludwig says that they are to defend us against intruders. He says that the bridges over the lava go down and the statues start spitting fire when intruders are detected.

He leads me up the fancy red carpet up the stairs. I see a bunch of big portraits of his family. I see paintings of his ancestors and his dad, and also of him and his brothers and sister.

I say, you didn't tell me you had brothers and a sister!

He says that they are too young to go to school. I ask if he will introduce me to them.

He sighs and puts his palm to his face. I take it he doesn't get along well with them.

I tell him that I wish that I had brothers and sisters. He tells me, no you don't.

We run into his oldest younger brother, who is big and muscly, with a pinkish purple shell and sunglasses. Ludwig says that his name is Roy, he is four years old, he is a bully and we should stay away from him.

Roy grabs Ludwig and gives him a noogie. Ludwig screams in a different language and pushes him away.

I ask him what language he was speaking. He says that German is his native tongue, and that is what they speak in Austria.

I say, cool, I want to speak German too! He says that I had best learn it now while I'm still young. He says that there are books and audio tapes to teach me in the castle library.

He tries to lead me to the castle library, but then we run into his sister, who is wearing makeup and jewelry and a big floppy pink bow with white polka dots.

Her name is Wendy, and she is three years old. I am surprised that she is allowed to wear makeup at her age. I am turning six next month and I am still not allowed to wear makeup.

I think that her bow is cute but she screams when I try to touch it.

Ludwig says that she is a brat and will cry to get anything she wants from their daddy. She likes to force him to dress up girly and play tea party with her and brush his hair, which he doesn't like.

Ludwig then introduces me to Morton, who has just turned three and is brown with gray and white face paint in the shape of a star. He is in his room yelling and screaming and playing his electric guitar too loud.

Ludwig says that his guitar playing is terrible and that he will have to teach him how to play properly.

We then run into two-year-old Larry, who is running around while playing with a hobby horse. His hair is blue like Ludwig's but lighter colored and it's shaved at the sides and sticks up in the middle, which is called a Mohawk. He whacks me on accident with the back end of the hobby horse. It bruises me and I cry. Ludwig yells at Larry and says some things in German.

I ask him what those German words mean and he says that they are inappropriate words that he would rather not tell me the meaning of.

We finally get to the library, which is huge. I wonder why my castle doesn't have such a huge library.

Ludwig says that my castle is just a small one, not the one where the reigning monarchs live, like his. He looks through the books and takes a few and stuffs them into my backpack.

I complain about how heavy the backpack is. He says, my mistake, I neglected to consider the fact that humans are not as strong as us Koopas.

He takes some of the books out and asks if I would like to see his laboratory.

I squeal in excitement. I love watching fun science experiments!

He shows me the locked door through which he enters his lab. He opens it and takes me in.

I get all giddy seeing the different colored chemicals and machines that he built. He screams at me not to touch them and then he tells me about a fun experiment he wants to do on me.

I see a pair of eggs in one of the machines. He says that they were just laid and that they are going to hatch into his new siblings after about nine months.

I suddenly realize that he never told me about his mother. I ask where his mother is, and he says that she lives in Austria and that each of his siblings has a different mother, and none of them are around. He says that the mother who laid both of the eggs he is incubating abandoned them.

He makes me sit down and he pours some of his experimental blue hair dye on my head. He lathers it up and it makes bubbles and I feel all tingly at the touch of his claws. He giggles madly and then he dries it off and shows me my hair.

My hair looks all blue and messy like his! I giggle with him, but then I ask him to change it back since my mom would probably be upset to see me with blue hair.

He says that he's not done yet. He asks me if I want to play Brain Surgeon with him. He says that I get to be his patient and cut into my brain and play around with it.

I say, NO! That sounds gross and painful!

He says that he'll put me to sleep so that I won't feel a thing.

I say, but what if you screw my brain up? He laughs and says that he can fix it back to normal if he does. He gets out an electric razor and tells me that he needs to shave my head before he can cut through the skull.

I say, no thank you, and I run to the lab door. He complains that he's never operated on a live brain before and his dad won't let him operate on his siblings' brains.

He looks disappointed, and says that he thought I would want him to play Brain Surgeon on me.

I tell him that I really enjoyed my visit and would like for him to visit me at my place, but only if he promises not to experiment on me.

He looks very interested in the idea of coming to visit my castle. He says that it's a deal and he'll try to take a visit whenever he can, but I cannot let my family know that he's around.

I hug him and smooch him on the cheek.


End file.
